# A tree for a birth, a wedding or in memory of someone: the long-lived natives and their size at twenty years

> Which native trees to plant for a memorial, a new baby or a wedding, how tall each one grows in twenty years, and how to mark the tree without harming it.

Published 2026-10-11. Tags: What to plant, Growth & age. By Blue Whale Trees, a native tree nursery in the United States. Web version: https://bluewhaletrees.com/articles/a-tree-for-a-birth-a-wedding-or-in-memory/

Plant a tree that will outlive everyone at the planting, suit the ground it goes into and mark each year in a way the family can see. White oak, bur oak and swamp white oak can live 300 years or more, black gum over 600 and bald cypress over 2,600. Where the yard is small, flowering dogwood lives up to 125 years. Twenty years after planting, our growth estimator puts each of these at 20 to 31 feet from a 3-foot sapling on an average site. A small seed-grown sapling resumes normal growth years sooner than a big transplant and often catches up with it.

![Lone bur oak with a broad, rounded crown beside a country road in a green field under storm clouds](https://bluewhaletrees.com/img/articles/a-tree-for-a-birth-a-wedding-or-in-memory-1-1000.jpg?v=b175d505 "The Big Tree, a bur oak standing alone in a field in Boone County, Missouri, on July 7, 2017. Bur oaks commonly live 300 to 400 years.")
*Photo: Heath Cajandig, [CC BY 2.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0) ([source](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AGreat_Burr_Oak_on_a_Dramatic_Morning.jpg))*

## The long-lived natives, and their height at twenty years

Each row gives how long the tree lives and its height twenty years after planting, by our [growth estimator](https://bluewhaletrees.com/tools/growth/?species=white-oak&years=20) for a 3-foot sapling on an average site. Rows run from the tree that can stand nearest a house to the one that needs the most room.

| Tree | How long it lives | Height at 20 years, feet | What marks its year | From a house, feet |
| --- | --- | --- | --- | --- |
| [Flowering dogwood](https://bluewhaletrees.com/plants/flowering-dogwood/index.html.md) | Up to 125 years | 20 | White bracts in April, red berries in fall | 15 |
| [Black gum](https://bluewhaletrees.com/plants/black-gum/index.html.md) | Over 600 years | 22 | Scarlet fall color, earlier than most trees | 20 |
| [Eastern redbud](https://bluewhaletrees.com/plants/eastern-redbud/index.html.md) | 20 to 25 years, under 75 at best | 24 | Magenta flowers on bare branches in spring | 20 |
| [Bald cypress](https://bluewhaletrees.com/plants/bald-cypress/index.html.md) | Over 2,600 years | 31 | Needles that turn rust-orange in fall | 25 |
| [Shagbark hickory](https://bluewhaletrees.com/plants/shagbark-hickory/index.html.md) | 200 to 300 years | 23 | Shaggy bark, golden fall color, sweet nuts | 30 |
| [Swamp white oak](https://bluewhaletrees.com/plants/swamp-white-oak/index.html.md) | 300 to 350 years | 30 | Leaves silver beneath, acorns on long stalks | 30 |
| [Bur oak](https://bluewhaletrees.com/plants/bur-oak/index.html.md) | 300 to 400 years | 22 | The biggest native acorns, in fringed cups | 40 |
| [White oak](https://bluewhaletrees.com/plants/white-oak/index.html.md) | Up to 600 years | 22 | Wine-red fall color and sweet acorns | 40 |

A planted tree spends its first year or two growing roots, so expect each height a year or two late. Ground matters too: the estimator puts a white oak at 16 feet after twenty years on poor ground and at 28 on good.

## How long they live, and when they first flower or bear

The two oldest ages in the table come from trees dated ring by ring. Silvics of North America rates black gum's longevity as moderate, yet the OLDLIST of [cross-dated](https://bluewhaletrees.com/articles/glossary/index.html.md) trees records one of 679 years in New Hampshire and a bald cypress of 2,624 in North Carolina. [Life spans printed for forest trees often run short](https://bluewhaletrees.com/articles/how-old-is-that-tree/index.html.md) of the dated ages.

The flowering trees mark their years soonest. Redbuds have flowered before they were 7, and a seed-grown dogwood commonly flowers at 6. An open-grown white oak can bear its first acorns at about 20, around the time a child born the year it was planted comes of age. Swamp white oak bears from about 20 as well. It is the oak chosen for the September 11 memorial at Ground Zero in New York.

We left [American beech](https://bluewhaletrees.com/plants/american-beech/index.html.md) out of the table, though it often lives 200 to 300 years. Two diseases from abroad now threaten it, and [beech leaf disease](https://bluewhaletrees.com/articles/beech-leaf-disease/index.html.md) has spread from Michigan to Maine and south to Virginia. Weather, insects and disease can harm even the best-cared-for tree:

> "Finally, families should recognize that trees are living organisms, not permanent monuments." (University of Illinois Extension, *Memorial Trees: Honoring Loved Ones Through Nature*)

## Choosing the spot, the tree and its size

Choose the spot first, then a species that suits it:

> "Planting memorial trees is a lovely gesture, but take care to plant trees that are well-suited for the area they are planted in." (NDSU Extension, *Dakota Gardener: In memory of…*)

The [planting-site check](https://bluewhaletrees.com/tools/site-check/index.html.md?species=white-oak&distance=40) weighs a spot against a species, here a white oak 40 feet from a house. A tree at home is close to the family who cares for it, though it can be hard to leave behind after a move.

Then choose a small sapling. A big transplant grows very slowly for many years, while a small sapling resumes its normal growth within a few years and [often catches up](https://bluewhaletrees.com/articles/small-sapling-or-big-transplant/index.html.md). White and bur oaks, shagbark hickory and black gum put down a taproot early. The taproot makes an older tree hard to move, so plant one young and plant it once. Blue Whale Trees grows every tree it sells from seed, not grafted, so each seedling is genetically distinct, and most ship 12 to 18 inches tall.

The oaks go in while dormant, from leaf fall until bud swell, and black gum best in spring. The [planting-window tool](https://bluewhaletrees.com/tools/planting-window/#stock=bare-root) turns the ZIP code of the spot into dates. Then plan three years of care: water through the first summer, keep a ring of mulch over the roots, and guard the stem with a [tube or cage](https://bluewhaletrees.com/articles/protecting-trees-from-animals/index.html.md) against deer.

## Marking the tree without harming it

[Put nothing into the trunk or around it](https://bluewhaletrees.com/articles/habitat-around-a-tree/index.html.md). A nail or screw hole is a wound, and wounds let in the fungi that rot wood. Wire or cord left around a trunk girdles it and ends up embedded in the wood.

A ring of stones or a mound of mulch against the trunk keeps the bark wet and lets in decay. Keep both at least 3 inches from the trunk, and the [mulch](https://bluewhaletrees.com/articles/mulch-around-a-tree/index.html.md) no more than 3 inches deep.

Set the plaque on a flat stone in the lawn instead, about 6 feet from the trunk and flush with the grass so the mower blades clear it. A marker set at the base ends up held between the roots as the trunk widens.

![Small concrete marker with a weathered bronze plaque wedged between thick roots at the base of an old tree](https://bluewhaletrees.com/img/articles/a-tree-for-a-birth-a-wedding-or-in-memory-2-1000.jpg?v=8790df3b "A marker set at the trunk of a memorial tree planted in Central Park, New York, on May 19, 1920, held between its roots on February 22, 2019.")
*Photo: Throggmorton, [CC BY-SA 4.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0) ([source](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AS._Rankin_Drew_Memorial_Tree_Marker.jpg))*

Photograph the tree each year from one spot, marked with a stake driven flush with the ground, because repeat pictures compare only when the distance stays the same. Take them on one date each year, such as the anniversary.

## A tree as a gift

A sapling travels bare-root or potted, and only while it is dormant. Our [shipping page](https://bluewhaletrees.com/shipping/index.html.md) sends live plants in February, March, April, May, October and November. An order placed in another month is held for the next window, so a tree given at a June wedding ships in the fall window. Acorns and seed travel any time of year. Whoever receives a tree should open the box the day it arrives and [plant bare roots within a week](https://bluewhaletrees.com/articles/planting-bare-root-trees-on-arrival/index.html.md) at most.

## Where to start

Pick the spot, then the tree:

- **[Growth estimator](https://bluewhaletrees.com/tools/growth/?species=bald-cypress&years=20):** any tree's height in twenty years from poor ground to good, here a bald cypress.
- **[Planting-site check](https://bluewhaletrees.com/tools/site-check/index.html.md?species=black-gum&distance=20):** a thrive, struggle or fail verdict for one species on your spot, here a black gum 20 feet from a house.
- **[Tree finder](https://bluewhaletrees.com/tools/tree-finder/?size=small-tree&want=flowers):** the flowering small trees we grow, matched to your zone, sun and soil.
- **[Planting-window tool](https://bluewhaletrees.com/tools/planting-window/#stock=bare-root):** the dates to plant a bare-root sapling where you live.

## Common questions

### What is the best tree to plant in memory of someone?

A long-lived native that suits the spot: white oak, bur oak and swamp white oak can live 300 years or more, and black gum and bald cypress far longer. In a small yard, flowering dogwood lives up to 125 years.

### What tree should you plant when a baby is born?

Plant a white oak to grow up with the child: our growth estimator puts a 3-foot sapling at about 22 feet at twenty on an average site, when it can first bear acorns. In a small yard, a flowering dogwood blooms by about 6 and can live 125 years.

### Can you give a tree as a wedding gift?

Yes, where the couple has room for it and can plant it within a week of its arrival. Live trees ship only while dormant, from February to May and in October and November, while acorns and seed travel any time.

### Where do you put a plaque for a memorial tree?

On a flat stone in the lawn about 6 feet from the trunk, set flush so the mower blades clear it. Never nail or screw it to the tree or wire it around the trunk, since a nail hole is a wound and wire girdles the trunk.

## Sources

- [White Oak](https://research.fs.usda.gov/silvics/white-oak): USDA Forest Service, Silvics of North America, with the chapters on swamp white oak, black tupelo, flowering dogwood and eastern redbud: white oak's recorded 600 years and first acorns at about 20 in the open, swamp white oak's 300 to 350 years and first acorns at 20, black tupelo's longevity rated moderate, dogwood's 125 years and first flowers at 6, and redbud's first flowers before 7.
- [Quercus macrocarpa](https://www.fs.usda.gov/database/feis/plants/tree/quemac/all.html): USDA Forest Service, Fire Effects Information System: bur oaks commonly found 300 to 400 years old.
- [OLDLIST, a database of old trees](https://www.rmtrr.org/oldlist.htm): Rocky Mountain Tree-Ring Research: the cross-dated black gum of 679 years in New Hampshire and bald cypress of 2,624 years in North Carolina.
- [Memorial Trees: Honoring Loved Ones Through Nature](https://extension.illinois.edu/blogs/good-growing/2026-09-18-memorial-trees-honoring-loved-ones-through-nature): University of Illinois Extension (Emily Swihart, 2026): the quotation on trees as living organisms, the weather, insects and disease that harm even well-cared-for trees, a care plan of mulch and watering, a tree at home and the move that leaves it behind, and the swamp white oaks of the September 11 memorial.
- [Dakota Gardener: In memory of…](https://www.ag.ndsu.edu/news/columns/dakota-gardener/dakota-gardener-in-memory-of): NDSU Extension (Joe Zeleznik, forester, 2025): the quotation on planting memorial trees suited to the area.
- [Tree Size Affects Root Regeneration And Top Growth After Transplanting](https://auf.isa-arbor.com/content/11/2/37): Gary Watson, Journal of Arboriculture 11 (1985): the large transplant that grows very slowly for many years while the small one resumes a normal rate within a few, until the two are nearly equal in size.
- [Tree Wounds: Invitations to Wood Decay Fungi](https://plantpathology.mgcafe.uky.edu/files/ppfs-or-w-01.pdf): University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension (Gauthier, Fountain and Missun, PPFS-OR-W-01): wounds as small as nail holes that let in the fungi of rot and decay, and wire and twine that girdle a trunk and become embedded in it.
- [Excess Mulch Problems](https://extension.umd.edu/resource/excess-mulch-problems): University of Maryland Extension: mulch piled against a trunk that keeps the bark moist and lets in decay, stones and mulch kept 3 inches from the trunk, and mulch no deeper than 3 inches.
- [Memorial Trees and Benches](https://facilities.brown.edu/sites/default/files/standards/32_30_30.pdf): Brown University, Facilities Design and Construction Standards, Section 32 30 30 (2012): a memorial tree's stone plaque set six feet off the trunk and flush in the lawn so mower blades clear it.
- [Photo point monitoring handbook, Part A: Field procedures](https://research.fs.usda.gov/download/treesearch/3255.pdf): USDA Forest Service, General Technical Report PNW-GTR-526 (Frederick C. Hall, 2002): the same distance from camera to subject in every repeat photograph, a permanent marker at the spot the camera stands, stakes driven flush with the ground, and fixed dates for photographing again.